its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
