Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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