your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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