shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
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