Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
