You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
