I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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