did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
