On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
