Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
