a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
