i barfeds in our rink
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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