she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
