Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
