yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Houston, we have a blender
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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