you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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