Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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