I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
