That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
