Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize