Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
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Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
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why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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