i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I believe in your delicious
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
