apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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