At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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