Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
