how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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