What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
