i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
