sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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