So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
