I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
