my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
