But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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