This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
