just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Randomize