I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I could make wine with my vomit
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
