I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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