During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
