So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
