Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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