...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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