Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
