She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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