He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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