You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
