my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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