Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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