Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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