I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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