I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
