God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
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In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
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he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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