when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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