Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
