uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm getting married
To pizza
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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