i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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