is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
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