I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
