Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
