It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
