Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
