Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
