I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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