she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
