Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
