I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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