I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
