man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
are you so shy because you have an std?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
